


Letters

by DesertWillow



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drug Addiction, F/M, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 22:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3150776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertWillow/pseuds/DesertWillow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Even if he’s made it clear that he wants to be left alone, we still owe it to the Inquisitor to make sure that Curly doesn't end up in a ditch somewhere."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters

_A sheet of parchment left on a desk written in a neat but cramped script_

Seeker Pentaghast,

This is my formal resignation from my position of Commander of the Inquisition. Due to the events that happened last Spring, I find myself unable to continue my duties. I regret that more notice was not given, but even with the short notice, I believe that this will be better for all involved.

Cullen Rutherford

_Written below in the same hand but messier as if the author’s hand was shaking_

Do not look for me Cassandra

 

* * *

 

_A letter addressed to Divine Victoria on the envelope_

Nightingale,

I’m sure this will take some time to get to you, being all official and what not, but you were much better at this shit than I am.

I’ve tapped out every resource you left me and there is still no sign of Curly.

Frankly, I’d be rather impressed with how well he’s managed to hide from us if I wasn’t so worried about what that might mean.

If you have any contacts or resources that I have yet to use, official or otherwise, all of Skyhold would appreciate it. Even if he’s made it clear that he wants to be left alone, we still owe it to the Inquisitor to make sure that Curly doesn’t end up in a ditch somewhere.

V.

 

* * *

 

_A note delivered via raven in a crisp script_

Master Tethras,

With the help from our former spymaster’s contacts, we’ve managed to track down the Commander.

We found him in a tavern in some shit hole, no name town in the Free Marches. He had been challenging anyone who wished to fight the famous “Commander Cullen” for a bit of coin, which he immediately spends on drink or lyrium. Don’t think anyone believed he was who he said he was, and were just humoring a crazy drunkard. He seemed to have struck a deal with the tavern keeper by clearing out some assholes from the pub a few weeks back and he’s been staying in the back for free. But whatever goodwill he seemed to have won with the man is quickly wearing itself out. We’ve had to settle several debts for property damage on his behalf.

Having seen him for myself, I’m unsurprised that our agents were not able to find him. It’s not that he’s been particularly adept at covering his tracks, because he really hasn’t, but the man is damn near unrecognizable now. He’s gaunt and unkempt and clearly abusing that lyrium shit in an excessive amount. If we hadn’t known him personally, we would have brushed him off just like everyone else. Never seen the Chief that pissed before. If we didn’t have orders to bring him home, I’m sure the Chief would have run him through with a sword. After he had beaten him to a pulp first.

We’ll be setting sail once the tide turns.

Cremisius Aclassi

_Attached, written in a sloppier hand_

I’m going to kill him Varric. But first I’m going to sober him up, get him back on his feet, and then I’m going to kill him, just so I’m sure he fully comprehends why I’m driving my sword through his gut.

Boss would be livid if she could see him. Pretty sure she’d want to kill him herself.

I get it. Losing her was hard for all of us, and it was worse for him. But just because she’s dead doesn’t mean you piss on the memory of everything she loved.

 

* * *

 

_A grubby letter delivered by hand_

Dearest nug-fucker,

This is the last time I do you a favor. My entire ship smells of vomit because of you.

What the fuck are you getting into over there? I hear from Hawke that you’re saving the world but then that’s taken care of and then the next I hear from you is asking for me to ferry a Qunari and his men while they drag a tied-up drunkard they claim is Knight Captain Cullen.

You sure you trust these guys? There is no way that that endless fountain of bile that they dragged on board is the Knight Captain. Other than the color of his eyes, I couldn’t tell him apart from a pile of pissed soaked rags. His hair may be blond and curly under all that dirt and knots, but it could also be purple for all that I can fucking tell.

And that stick-in-the-mud from the Gallows sure as shit didn’t know half the profanities this lunatic knows. Didn’t think it was possible to teach a bunch of sailors new curses…

If you need a dashing rescue, just send word,

Admiral Isabela

 

* * *

 

_Except from a journal found in the Herald’s Rest at Skyhold_

… I keep hearing muttering up on the third floor. Something about how a “templar is all wrong now” and “killing him would be kinder”. I go and investigate, but who ever is up there is gone. I know it’s not all in my head because I’ve asked that Sera about it. She says just to ignore it and then yells in the direction of the noise to piss off. She gotten scarier in the last few months so I don’t push the issue.

Just confirms my decision to leave Skyhold. No point sticking around since that assassin got the Blessed Herald of Andraste. If even her Worship could be killed in her own room then what hope is there for any of us. If the world is going to go all to shit again, I may as well be near that pretty Jenny back in Gwaren. Heard that her husband died a few years ago, so I may try and get in there. But packing is such a nightmare and I’ve yet…

 

* * *

 

_A letter that sits unopened on a desk a watchtower in Skyhold dated several months earlier_

Dearest Brother,

We were so saddened to hear of the passing of the Inquisitor. I know how deeply you loved her, how happy she made you. It pains my heart to think of what you must be going through.

These kinds of letters are impossible to write. It seems so impersonal to write about it. You must come to South Reach and visit us, or let us come to you. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. I mean this, Cullen. Too often do you push those who care for you and wish to share your burden away. All of us here adored her. She was such a bright and charming woman and she brought out the best in you. We want to be there for you in this.

I worry that you’re going to slip away from us again. That I haven’t heard from you at all is extremely troubling. Please write back so I know if I should air out the guest linens. If not, I’ll storm that fortress myself and give you such a tongue lashing…

Please just let us know you’re okay.

With all of my love,

Mia

 

* * *

 

_Scribbled notes found in the Infirmary of Skyhold_

Patient is not recovering at all. Aggressive and delusional, I’ve had to resort to keeping him restrained to a bed. Spends most of his time muttering about how it was his fault. Pretty sure we can guess what he blames himself for. What I remember of the Commander before he left was that he was the kind of man to take every failure personally. It would be hard not to take your future wife killed in your chambers while you worked late on the other side of the Keep as a personal failure. Poor sod.

Unsure which is the right course of treatment. The Chargers said he was taking every bit of lyrium he could get his hands on when they found him, but that there was none available to him during the crossing of the Waking Sea. Is the dementia caused by the withdrawal or from the amount of lyrium he was consuming in the first place? I know before that blasted night, the patient had stopped using lyrium for good with very little side effects. He’s been off of the drug for weeks, so I’m unsure if getting him started again at this point would do any good.

I’ve sent missives out to several colleagues who have dealt with former Templars before. Hopefully I won’t have needed to and he’ll come out of this fugue state soon.

_Additional notes_

I’ve had to assign a guard to watch over the patient after an attempt of suicide. He had broken free of his restraints and found one of the blades I keep around for harvesting the Elfroot in the garden. Had I not been nearby, he would have succeeded too. Was damned efficient about it. That was a man who knows how kill and who wanted to die.

Not sure if there was even a point in stopping the wound. His health is rapidly declining. After giving him a small dosage of lyrium, the fever increased. I fear the damaged done to his system before he was under my care was too great.

 

* * *

 

_An unsigned letter hidden away in the library at Skyhold with others just like it, written in a flowing and practiced hand_

To my best and only friend,

What a mess you left behind when you left us. I’ve faced the end of the world and it wasn’t nearly as terrifying as facing a world without you in it.

I’ve finally decided to listen to Bull and curb my drinking, shocking you I’m sure. Not the bit about less drinking but that I’ve listened to something that brute has to say. But after seeing the Commander when he was dragged back here, I knew that you wouldn’t want us pining after your memory, pissing our lives away or some such nonsense. And well, after everything this past week, I want to at least try and honor you both. Drinking myself into a stupor every night seemed to be the opposite of that, so…

You did too much for the world for such a sorry end.

These letters to you do get rather morose, don’t they? Of course, I’m not sure how they could not but still... I do like writing them though. It lets me feel like you're still with us.

I wish you safe travels, my friend. I hope you find your strapping, young templar in the Fade and you two are deliriously happy spirits. Maker knows that he wasn’t going to be happy without you here.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god why did I write this!!!????!?!?!? Not sure if I got everyone's voices down or if this plays out right. Just something I wrote up during naptime.


End file.
